From: Men and Women Going Their Own Way-->To: Men and Women Going Their Own Way Together (Me to We)
An End to the War Between the Sexes
BEST 27 MINUTES OF MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY Manosphere, Nov 19, 2024. 27:54
THE BOY CRISIS - SOCIETY'S MALE REJECTS | DR WARREN FARRELL. John Anderson Media, Dec 22, 2022. 0:50
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TWO CLASSES OF MEN
There are two classes of men: one where men take their value from other men; and the other where men take their value from women. I am the second. I have never particularly cared what men thought of me, only what women did.
WHY ARE SO MANY MEN & WOMEN FEARFUL
OF COMMITTED RELATIONSHIPS?
WHAT MATTERS MOST - KENNY RANKIN El Palanca, May 2, 2009. 3:12
What Matters Most It's not how long we held each other's hand What matters is how well we loved each other It's not how far we travelled on our way Of what we found to say It's not the spring you see, but all the shades of green It's not how long I held you in my arms What matters is how sweet the years together It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall The early morning smiles we tearfully recall What matters most is that we loved at all. It's not how many summertimes we had to give to fall The early morning smiles we tearfully recall What matters most is that we loved at all. What matters most is that we loved at all.
Women After All? Adventures in ‘Natural Superiority’ | Mel Konner 37:09
Start 7:24 “It is important to understand that the similarities that's in italics in the original between men and women's Brains are much greater than any differences the differences that exist are unrelated to general intelligence but they are tight to specific dispositions men greatly exceed women in violence and driven sexuality and that includes exploitative sexuality and that is true across all cultures.”
Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_Going_Their_Own_Way
Involuntary Celibate (INCEL)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel )
SINGLES WORLDWIDE - STATISTICS & FACTS. Statista
In industrialized countries, the share of singles has been rising over the last decades. This phenomenon can be observed in geographically and culturally diverse countries such as the United States, Czechia, and Japan. In Japan, for instance, changing demographics have led to the emergence of a real "single culture", dubbed the ohitorisama movement in Japanese.
Divorce and single parentingFor some people, being single might just be a life choice. For others, instead, it is the result of an ended marriage. In the European Union, divorce rates are rather high in general, but no country gets close to Portugal's odd record. In this country, in fact, over nine out of 10 marriages end up in a divorce. An increasing number of divorces often translates into a rising number of children who grow up mainly with one parent.
Data suggest that single moms were much more numerous than single dads, and that the U.S. had the highest share of single parenting. Moreover, raising children while relying on just one income might prove to be a challenge: in Cyprus, for instance, childcare takes up just under a third of net household income for single parents.
https://www.statista.com/topics/999/singles/#topicOverview
AVERAGE AGE TO LOSE VIRGINITY BY COUNTRY 2024 World Population Review
Where Do People Lose Their Virginity the Youngest?
Scandinavian countries are places where people tend to lose their virginity at relatively young ages. For example, people who live in Denmark, Sweden, Norway, and Finland are believed to lose their virginity as young as 16 years of age. In Iceland, which is not far from Scandinavian countries, it is believed that children there lose their virginity at about 15 years of age. It is difficult to verify these numbers, but there are surveys that have been conducted that have found relatively consistent results. It is believed that there is a common cultural thread that leads to children losing their age during their teenage years.
When Do People Lose Their Virginity Across the World?
Even though 16 is a bit young for people to lose their virginity, other countries have conducted surveys and found that the vast majority of people lose their virginity between the age of 17 and 20. In general, people who live in Europe and North America lose their virginity at a younger age when compared to people who live in Asia. For example, people who live in the United States, France, and the United Kingdom tend to lose their virginity around 18 years of age. On the other hand, people who live in Japan and Hong Kong tend to wait until they are 19 or 20 years of age to lose their virginity.
What Country Has The Oldest Average Age Of Virginity Loss?
There are some countries that are outliers when it comes to losing one's virginity. For example, people who live in China tend to wait until they are 22 until they lose their virginity. This means that some people may graduate college without ever having sex. People in Singapore and India also tend to wait until the age of 22 to lose their virginity. People in Malaysia often wait until 23 to lose their virginity. Keep in mind that this is an average number. Therefore, there are lots of people who live in all of these countries who lose their virginity at younger ages, while there are some people who may wait until they are older to lose their virginity.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-age-to-lose-virginity-by-country
AVERAGE NUMBER OF SEXUAL PARTNERS BY COUNTRY 2024. World Population Review
Most individuals have multiple sexual partners over the course of their lifetimes, with surveys indicating a global average of nine sexual partners during a person's life. The average number of sexual partners can vary significantly from country to country, as cultural norms can have a significant impact on the number of people someone has sex with.
In which countries do people have the highest number of sexual partners on average?
Turkish citizens report having the highest average number of sexual partners during the course of their lives. The average person in Turkey has 14 sexual partners. Residents of Iceland, New Zealand, and Australia claim 13 or more sexual partners, on average.
Turkey 14.5, Australia 13.3, New Zealand 13.2, Iceland 13
In which countries do people have the lowest number of sexual partners on average?
There are also countries in which people tend to have far fewer sexual partners than the global average. This is typically due to societal or cultural preferences to abstain from premarital sex. In India, where many people follow strict marriage rules, the average person has three sexual partners during the course of his or her life. People who live in Hong Kong, Vietnam, and China tend to have fewer than four sexual partners during the course of their lives.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/average-number-of-sexual-partners-by-country
INFIDELITY RATES BY COUNTRY 2024. World Population Review
Infidelity refers to someone having sex outside of his or her marriage or civil union without the permission of the other partner. Relationships can vary widely across the world, and there are some marriages in which people might allow each other to have sex with other people outside of the marriage. On the other hand, infidelity is also one of the most common reasons why both married and unmarried relationships come to an end. Therefore, it is worth exploring which countries have higher rates of infidelity than others, and the impact this might have on those around them.
How Many People Cheat On Their Significant Other In The United States?
There are surveys that have been conducted on infidelity in the United States. Approximately half of people in married relationships cheat at least one time during the course of the marriage. Close to three-quarters of men and more than two-thirds of women admit that they would sleep with someone else if it was guaranteed that they would never get caught. In addition, the majority of affairs start with close friends or co-workers. It is unusual for a one-night stand to be the cause of infidelity in a marriage. In addition, once an affair begins, it lasts an average of two years. Finally, if the affair is discovered, close to 2/3 of marriages will end immediately because of the affair.
There are several countries in which cheating is relatively common. Thailand is an outlier, but it is also at the top of the list. More than half of people in Thailand who are married admit to committing infidelity at least once during the course of the marriage. Then, infidelity is relatively common in Europe. In some situations, there might be relationships where people are allowed to sleep with other people outside of the marriage. In Denmark, close to 46 percent of people admit to sleeping with someone outside of the marriage. Germany and Italy are not far behind, where 45 percent of people who are married in both of these countries admit to committing infidelity. Belgium, Norway, and France also have infidelity rates that are 40 percent or higher.
https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/infidelity-rates-by-country
WHY WOMEN INITIATE DIVORCE MORE OFTEN THAN MEN. Divorce.com, July 1, 2024
Key Takeaways
· Around 69% of divorces in heterosexual marriages are initiated by women.
· Women often feel less satisfied in marriages due to unmet emotional needs, poor communication, and lack of independence.
· The unequal division of domestic chores and childcare responsibilities, even when both partners work full-time, contributes to marital dissatisfaction among women.
· Infidelity and alcohol addiction are significant factors in many divorces. Women are more likely to cite their husband's affairs as a reason for divorce, while alcohol abuse leads to stress and decreased marital satisfaction.
· Physical and emotional violence is a major cause of divorce, with women being primary victims more often than men.
· Despite short-term economic difficulties, women often experience long-term improvements in well-being after divorce. Only a small percentage of women regret their decision to divorce compared to men.
https://divorce.com/blog/who-initiates-divorce-more/
93 RELATIONSHIP STATISTICS IN THE U.S. FOR 2024 Fling Or Love, Stephanie Pawlak, Sept 4, 2023
Table Of Contents
1) Relationship statistics you should know in 2024
26% of Americans are in a committed relationship (Pew Research)
47% of American adults (approximately 95 million people) have been married or in a committed relationship for 5+ years. (Pew Research)
21% of American adults (approximately 42 million) have been married or in a committed relationship for less than 5 years. (Pew Research)
71% of singles are seeking long-term relationships. (Cosmopolitan)
The average relationship lasts about 2 years and 9 months before ending. (Daily Mail)
50% of singles are not seeking a committed relationship or casual dates. (Pew Research)
61% of men are looking for a committed relationship, compared to 38% of women looking for the same. (Pew Research)
1.1) Relationship statistics by age
1.2) Teenage relationship statistics
1.2.1) How long do teen relationships last?
1.3) College relationship statistics
1.4) Gen Z and millennials relationship statistics
1.5) Age-gap relationship statistics
1.6) Long-distance relationship statistics
1.7) How many relationships does the average person have?
1.8) Relationship deal breakers
1.9) What percentages of relationships break up?
1.10) When do most relationships end?
1.11) What is the 37% relationship rule?
35 RELATIONSHIP STATISTICS TO KNOW. Scott Max, Dec 2024
Contents
Teenage Relationship Statistics
College Relationship Statistics
Millennial Relationship Statistics
The Financial Marriage Hesitation
Millennials are all about that financial stability, and 29% of them say they aren’t quite ready for marriage just yet. This generation places more emphasis on the financial aspect of tying the knot. Interestingly, statistics reveal that millennials are three times more likely to remain unmarried compared to the Silent Generation (those born between 1925 and 1942). Among millennials, 26% are holding out for someone with the qualities they desire, while another 26% feel they’re simply too young to take the plunge.
Long-Distance Relationship Statistics
Interracial Relationship Statistics
Abusive Relationship Statistics
Relationships and Tinder Statistics
1. What is the average age of people who use online dating apps like Tinder?
3. What are the primary reasons people use Tinder?
4. How common are interracial relationships on dating apps like Tinder?
5. Can online relationships initiated through Tinder lead to long-lasting, meaningful connections?
https://scottmax.com/relationship-statistics/
37 SEX STATS YOU NEED TO KNOW. Men’s Journal, Sept 19, 2022
Sex by the numbers: Find out the average number of sexual partners for men, how much more often men think about sex than women, and more.
Although the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that the average age of first (vaginal) sexual intercourse has remained fairly stable at about 17 years for both men and women, it looks like teens are increasingly holding off on losing their V-card. The percent of unmarried females ages 18-19 who ever had sex dropped from 68 percent in 1995 to 62.7 percent in 2006 to 2010. For men the numbers dropped from 75.4 to 63.9 percent.
CDC data from 2006 to 2008 reports that men ages 25 to 44, on average, have had 6.1 partners in their lifetime and women about 3.6. Data from 2006 to 2010 reports that, among men 15 to 44, 21.6 percent have had more than 15 partners, compared to nine percent of women in this age range.
HOOKUP CULTURE WORSE THAN EVER AND KILLING DATING APPS, NEW RESEARCH FINDS. Mirror, U.K., June 20, 2024
Dating apps have revolutionised the world of dating, so why are so many people still struggling to find their perfect match? In a world of causal hook-ups, people have lost trust in apps to find a partner
"Hook-up culture" is distinguished by many daters wanting a commitment-free relationship with sexual encounters. It can create superficial connections and is unfair on those wanting to find a proper relationship.
Dating apps make it easy to strike up a conversation with someone, rather than relying on the traditional way of meeting someone in a bar, but it's hard to really know what someone's intentions are behind a screen.
The creators at Tinder, the world's most popular dating app released its Green Flags Study. This analysed dating-app behaviours and polled 8,000 heterosexual men and women across the UK, US, Australia and Canada to try and work out why dating has become so difficult at a time when dating apps have made it easier than ever to connect to people. The result? We're hugely inhibited by our own assumptions. Basically, we're self-destructing and not bothering to date because we're sick of hookups that lead nowhere.
The study revealed that 91% of men and 94% of women are finding dating more difficult. Tinder suggests that long-term romance is not dead though. Despite 65% of women saying they believe that men are only seeking casual hook-ups, the survey revealed that in reality, that was only true for 29% of responding men, and 53% said that they were seeking a genuine romantic relationship.
https://www.mirror.co.uk/lifestyle/sex-relationships/hookup-culture-worse-ever-killing-33069696
THE MOST MIND-BLOWING VOLUNTARY CHILDLESSNESS STATISTICS FOR 2024. 2Date4Love, Hermina Drah, January 22, 2021
Top Ten Voluntary Childlessness Statistics for 2024
· 17% of Caucasian women are childless by choice.
· The childlessness rates among women in their 40s are the highest in Spain with 21.6% and the lowest in Turkey with 4.5%.
· Childless couples statistics in the UK reveal that 20% of British women in their 40s are child-free.
· In Britain, about 90% of people belonging to the LGBT community do not have kids.
· Voluntary childlessness statistics reveal that 22% of childless women have a master’s degree.
· 54% of poll respondents think parents should go on vacation without their kids on special occasions.
· What percentage of American couples are childless? A staggering 57% of American households are child-free.
· Among the baby boomer generation, the rate of people who are aging solo is nearly 20%.
· Childless couples statistics show that childlessness in the United States from 10% to around 20% between the mid 70’s and the mid-’00s.
· Over 1 million child-free individuals who are over the age of 65 are at a higher risk of poor health and poverty.
https://2date4love.com/voluntary-childlessness-statistics/
THE MOST SURPRISING DATING STATISTICS YOU NEED TO KNOW IN 2024. Do U Like, May 2, 2024
10 Key Dating Statistics for 2024
· 46% of Americans are single, indicating that almost half of the US population will move through life alone with their vast array of choices.
· 51% are open to both serious and casual relationships, reflecting the variety in modern romantic preferences.
· 21% of 30 to 49-year-olds are single, indicating a trend towards commitment in this age group.
· 63% of men and 34% of women under 30 are single, revealing gender differences in young adults’ relationship status.
· 30% use dating apps, emphasizing digital platforms’ role in modern romance.
· 70% of online dating ends as serious relationships, showing digital connections’ potential for severe partnerships.
· 34% of men and 27% of women prefer online dating, highlighting the convenience and appeal of digital platforms.
· 75% of employees date their co-workers due to a lack of time or shared interests.
· 19% of people rarely go on dates due to economic concerns.
· 44% of all daters prefer virtual dates than traditional ones.
https://www.doulike.com/blog/statistics/dating-statistics/
LET’S TALK ABOUT (NO) SEX: A CLOSER LOOK AT JAPAN’S ‘VIRGINITY CRISIS’. The Diplomat, Cyrus Ghaznavi, Haruka Sakamoto, Kenji Shibuya, and Peter Ueda, April 08, 2019
In light of new research, it’s time to reconsider the exoticization of Japanese sexual behavior.
Rates of virginity in Japan are not as high as previously reported, and socioeconomic status seems to play a role in determining heterosexual experience among men, according to our recently published study. Given our findings, it is time to reconsider the exoticization of Japanese sexual behavior, best exemplified by the BBC’s 2013 documentary, “No Sex Please, We’re Japanese.”
Since the turn of the millennium, young Japanese adults have apparently begun to lose interest in sex and intimate relationships, a phenomenon known as sekkusu-banare (literally, “drifting away from sex”). The 2010 and 2015 summary reports from Japan’s National Fertility Survey showed that more than 40 percent of never-married Japanese 18-34-years-old reported no experience of heterosexual intercourse.
https://thediplomat.com/2019/04/lets-talk-about-no-sex-a-closer-look-at-japans-virginity-crisis/
THE PROBLEM WITH ‘MEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY’ (MGTOW). Real Alex Clark, July 12, 2023. 14:41
Alex exposes the the truth about the Black Pill Movement while explaining its history including 'Men Going Their Own Way' (MGTOW) and if it really has any roots in Christianity or a place in Conservatism.
MEN VS. SOCIETY: INSIGHTS FROM DR. WARREN FARRELL. ManTalks, Oct 8, 2024
Join us as we welcome back Dr. Farrell for a powerful discussion on the challenges young men face today. Drawing from his research for the "Boy Crisis" book, Dr. Farrell highlights the pressures on young men, including being labeled part of a patriarchal system and the view of masculinity as toxic. We also examine the unintended consequences of DEI initiatives that may exclude them and share stories of their identity struggle
"Nature, to be commanded, must be obeyed." Francis Bacon
From “When Men Behave Badly” by David M. Buss
“Men are one long breeding experiment run by women, according to some evolutionary scientists. Men have been chosen as mates by women generation after generation to acquire and control resources. Consequently, men have evolved powerful motivations to acquire status and resources precisely because of female preferences. Men’s motivations for power, status, and resources exist in part because women have preferred to mate with men who possess power, status, and resources. Neglecting this part of the causal origins of sexual conflict will impede efforts to alter it. The key question is: If women’s mate preferences have partly selected for a male psychology that places a high motivational priority on ascending the status hierarchy and acquiring resources, can these causal links in the creation of patriarchy be suppressed or overridden in ways that reduce conflict between the sexes?”
SEXUAL CONFLICT IN HUMAN MATING | DAVID BUSS | TEDxVienna. Nov 15, 2017. 18:59
If we all want love, why is there so much conflict on the mating market and in our most cherished relationships? Sexual conflict pervades the mating arena prior to sex, after a mating relationship has formed, and in the aftermath of a romantic breakup. Love has a central place in human sexual psychology, but conflict and exploitation pervade human mating - something we must all confront in order to control our own mating destiny. American psychologist David M. Buss is a leading researcher and author in the field of evolutionary psychology and human sex differences in partner selection. The 2005/2016 book The Handbook of Evolutionary Psychology, edited by Buss, is considered the definitive text on the subject.
DAVID M. BUSS | WHY MEN CHEAT | Clip_01| Ep. 195. Danica Patrick, May 18, 2023. 10:46
WHEN MEN BEHAVE BADLY—THE HIDDEN ROOTS OF SEXUAL DECEPTION, HARASSMENT, AND ASSAULT by David M. Buss
Sexual conflict permeates ancient religions, from injunctions about thy neighbor's wife to the permissible rape of infidels. It is etched in written laws that dictate who can and cannot have sex with whom. Its manifestations shape our sexual morality, evoking approving accolades or contemptuous condemnation. It produces sexual double standards that flourish even in the most sexually egalitarian cultures on earth. And although every person alive struggles with sexual conflict, most of us see only the tip of the iceberg: dating deception, a politician's unsavory sexual grab, the slow crumbling of a once-happy marriage, a romantic breakup that turns nasty.
When Men Behave Badly shows that this "battle of the sexes" is deeper and far more pervasive than anyone has recognized, revealing the hidden roots of sexual conflict - roots that originated over deep evolutionary time - which define the sexual psychology we currently carry around in our 3.5-pound brains. Providing novel insights into our minds and behaviors, When Men Behave Badly presents a unifying new theory of sexual conflict, and offers practical advice for men and women seeking to avoid it.
https://www.amazon.com/When-Men-Behave-Badly-Harassment/dp/B08ZT82RH6
THE WAR ON MASCULINITY: JORDAN PETERSON VS. FEMINISM. Path of Men, July 23, 2024. 10:01
Jordan Peterson is known for being an author and has a great podcast where he discusses psychology and politics, along with many other things. It's no wonder men are going their own way. What's the incentive? I would ask, "what rights do women have that men don't have".
MGTOW BLOG
In the shadows of contemporary society, a digital undercurrent known as MGTOW, or "Men Going Their Own Way," has been steadily gaining traction since the early 2000s. This loosely connected online social and philosophical movement is a response to what its adherents perceive as deeply ingrained societal and legal biases against men, especially within the realms of relationships, marriage, and family.
Understanding the MGTOW movement
MGTOW, with its origins traced back to the United States in the 2000s, subscribes to an ideology focused on men asserting their sovereign rights and prioritizing their interests over societal expectations. The primary ethos is characterized by a rejection of traditional gender norms and a move towards personal autonomy. The spectrum of involvement in the MGTOW movement is diversified, consisting of various levels of engagement. This includes men who believe they are often manipulated but still believe in marriage at one end of the spectrum, to those at the other end who have completely renounced any involvement with women. https://mgtow.blog
EXPLORING MGTOW PHILOSOPHY: AUTONOMY, SELF-IMPROVEMENT, AND INDEPENDENCE
In the realm of Men Going Their Own Way (MGTOW), a fundamental philosophical foundation rests on three pillars: autonomy, self-improvement, and independence. These core beliefs shape the worldview and actions of those identifying with the movement, steering the course of their lives.
Autonomy: Empowering Men to Forge Their Paths
Freedom from Societal Expectations:
MGTOW encourages men to break free from traditional societal expectations that often dictate predefined roles and behaviors.
It advocates for challenging these norms, empowering men to chart their courses based on their genuine desires and beliefs.
Resisting External Influences:
Within the MGTOW ethos, men are urged to resist undue influences that may come from various sources such as family, media, or cultural expectations.
This resistance enables them to make decisions that align with their true selves and aspirations.
https://mgtow.blog/philosophical-foundations-of-mgtow#philosophical-foundations-of-mgtow
BRIFFAULT'S LAW: UNPACKING THE DYNAMICS OF RELATIONSHIPS. Mgtow blog, 11/7/2023
Briffault's Law is a social theory proposed by anthropologist Robert Briffault that attempts to explain the dynamics of relationships, particularly in romantic partnerships. The law is characterized by three principles: past benefits, present benefits, and anticipation of future benefits. However, the law has faced criticism for oversimplifying the complexities of human relationships, gender bias, lack of empirical evidence, and overshadowing emotional aspects. While the law provides a theoretical framework for understanding relationship dynamics, it cannot entirely encapsulate the complexities of human interactions.
https://mgtow.blog/briffaults-law-unpacking-the-dynamics-of-relationships
WHY ISN’T THERE MORE INCEL VIOLENCE? William Costello. David M. Buss, 2023
Abstract
Incels (involuntary celibates) are an online subculture community of men who form an identity around their perceived inability to form sexual or romantic relationships. They attribute their lack of success to genetic factors, evolved mate preferences, and social inequities. While we have a deep ancestral history of incels, the modern incel community is an evolutionarily novel group that fosters a shared victimhood identity. We applaud Lindner for an important contribution to the scant literature on incels and highlight the importance of her evolutionary psychological lens in understanding their grievances. Our critique of Lindner’s work addresses two key issues. Firstly, we challenge the hypothesis that incels engage in simulated coalitional bargaining for sexual access. While coalitional bargaining for sexual access may have played a role in ancestral populations of involuntarily celibate men, this is not a suitable analysis of modern incels. Instead, the incel community operates as a fatalistic echo-chamber, where failure is celebrated, and individuals discourage each other from pursuing romantic success. Secondly, we critique the association between incels and violence. Contrary to common beliefs, empirical evidence suggests that incels are not particularly prone to violence. Incels’ propensity for violence appears relatively low compared to that of the general population. We conclude by offering one hypothesis as to why modern day incels are not as violent as we might expect. The Male Sedation Hypothesis, that online virtual worlds, such as pornography, may pacify the potential for violence among sexless young men, providing a counterfeit sense of sexual fulfillment and reducing motivation for real life mate competition.
Keywords Incels · Extremism · Violence · Mating · Misogyny
https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2023/07/Whyisnttheremoreincelviolence.pdf
DO MEN THINK WITH THEIR D*CKS? THE SCIENCE BEHIND THE OTHER HEAD Elite Daily, Alexia Lafata, Oct 30, 2014
Dvery angsty Millennial female knows the old adage all too well: "God gave man a brain and a d*ck, but only enough blood to run one at a time."
Gabbing together at 2 am over a bottle of wine, jaded women would agree that all men want is sex, sex, sex -- and then, more sex. He doesn't want any kind of emotional intimacy. He couldn't care less about dating you. Instead, he simply wants to use you for your vagina.
But how valid is it? Are men really the sex-and-red-lingerie-obsessed maniacs media outlets portray them to be? Or can we give them more credit than that? The short answer is that yes, we can.
https://www.elitedaily.com/life/culture/men-really-think-wrong-head/817472
THE REASONS WHY MEN ARE GOING THEIR OWN WAY (MGTOW). Path of Men, Aug 7, 2024 11:09
An explanation of why men are going their own way. Lots of men have abandoned their efforts of approaching and dating women. 63 percent of young men have completely stopped dating. POLITICS (feminism mostly), social media, and the division it sparks, woke culture, hypergamy; men are getting red pill and many are going overseas to find love instead of dating western women, check out passport bros. Many women are also realizing they've been lied to by propaganda based falsehoods and other misled politically moved/co-opted individuals.
JORDAN PETERSON REGRETS TRYING TO STOP MEN FROM GOING THEIR OWN WAY. The Modern King, June 26, 2024. 9:32
Jordan Peterson Regrets Trying To STOP MGTOW
WHY THESE GUYS PUT THEIR DICKS IN CAGES. Vice, Zak Krevitt and Thomas McCarty, Jan 9, 2017
Male chastity is that thing where you lock your penis in a specially designed cage that prevents you from getting full erections or using your penis for sex. While locked up, you can’t masturbate or orgasm, and the cage can only be removed by your designated “keyholder.” While the thought of this makes most men cringe, it makes others whimper with excitement. Being caged can be extremely exciting and fulfilling. Some people say orgasm denial increases your sex drive and improves your focus. It also obviously heightens the stakes of a dom/sub relationship, with a master or mistress able to punish their sub by denying them not just sex but the ability to orgasm.
https://www.vice.com/en/article/why-these-guys-put-their-dicks-in-cages/
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MEN AND WOMEN GOING THEIR OWN WAY TOGETHER (ME TO WE)
PAIRING TODAY FOR LIFE
DO SWANS MATE FOR LIFE? Birdfact, Oct 1, 2022
Mute swans have a reputation for forming lifelong relationships with a mate, and even dying of a broken heart when their partner dies. But this is not always the case for all swan species, or even for all mute swans. Some widowed swans seek new mates, while other species are not always monogamous. https://birdfact.com/articles/do-swans-mate-for-life
ETYMOLOGY OF PAIR = PAR = EQUALS
mid-13c., paire, "a set of two, two of a kind coupled in use," from Old French paire "pair, couple," and directly from Medieval Latin paria "equals," neuter plural of Latin par (genitive paris) "a pair, counterpart, equal," noun use of par (adj.) "equal, equal-sized, well-matched" (see par (n.)).
par (n.)
1620s, "equality in value or circumstances," also "value of one currency in terms of another," from Latin par "equal, equal-sized, well-matched," also as a noun, "that which is equal, equality," a word of unknown and disputed origin.
https://www.etymonline.com/word/par#etymonline_v_7161
MY RELATIONSHIPS WEBSITE ON THE WAYBACK MACHINE
Pairing Today (Wayback Home)
Welcome to PAIRING TODAY, a Worldwide Relationship Education Service for men and women, singles and couples--whether heterosexual, bisexual or homosexual--who desire to better understand themselves and those others they are currently attached to or may in the future be attracted to.
This site is about the education of the sexes. I intend to show that the highest human value should be freely chosen intimate relationships that are sustaining and sustainable.
This is Jack in Auckland, New Zealand and everywhere in the world on the Internet.
We are evolved to obtain natural happiness ONLY through intimate Human Relationships. That is my life's guiding premise founded on empirical research and my own experience. I am convinced most human destructiveness to self and others—from wars to suicides—comes from impaired or absent human relationships. Those who have enriched and enabled relationships do not destroy themselves or others. ALL of our so-called mental illnesses or diseases are a result of negative or missing relationships.
Therefore, if we would be sane and healthy in body and mind, and bring peace and prosperity to our planet, our attention and care should be targeted on our relationships.
Agreeing with Rilke, I consider the achievement of an Intimate and Equal Love between consenting adults to be the most difficult, rarest and highest of Human achievements. My goal is to enable persons worldwide to create and maintain such Relationships.
LOVE—THE LESSON OF LOSS
https://web.archive.org/web/20230301115835/https://www.pairingtoday.com/love--the-lesson-of-loss
THE PAIRING FOR LIFE OF KATHARINE AND JACK --
TWO EQUAL PARTS CREATING A WHOLE GREAT LOVE
Katharine and I wrote our marriage ceremony that took place in Maryborough, Queensland, Australia, intentionally and symbolically on July 4, 1993, America’s Independence Day, that we called our “Interdependence Day”. We took the words of one of our favorite philosophers, Ayn Rand, to express what we understood the act of marriage to embody and express socially and to us as a Partnered Pair. Here is what we wrote to publically celebrate what we meant to each other and to our world. We had our private celebrant, who we had hired to direct our ceremony, read it to our guests at the wedding:
“To love is to value; love is an expression of, and a response to, value. Love is not sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person. Love is the expression of your values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character; it is the emotional price paid for the joy you receive from the virtues of another. Love is a response to values. It is with a person’s sense of life that you fall in love...that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of personality. You fall in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in their widest goals or smallest gestures. It is your own sense of life that acts as the selector and responds to what it recognizes as your own basic values in the person of another. When love is the conscious integration of reason and emotion, of mind and values, it is the greatest reward of life.”
Katharine died, her Mind and Hand in mine (where they remain to this moment) on December 17, 1996. Our Love was, is, still, “the greatest reward” of my life for me. It is this “Whole Great Love” that I am committed to living as fully as I can, for and through others, until I can no longer. And I do this with the remembrance of Katharine, my Pure One, whom I still love equally as this World and my Life.
LOVE BETWEEN EQUALS: HOW PEER MARRIAGE REALLY WORKS Pepper Schwartz, 1995
Katarinaism, Reviewed in the United States on June 6, 2020
Excellent book about marriage as a partnership
As someone who has previously been in what would be considered a "traditional" marriage, one which is now defunct, I really appreciated this book as it details a lot of the challenges women and men face when succumbing to the traditional male/female division of labor. One particular challenge is a "near-peer" relationship in which the woman often works and provides, but still handles a majority of the household work (ie, "The Second Shift"). A lot of the anecdotes struck me, such as many women's hesitance to make financial decisions independently or assert their opinions with regards to major decisions such as a car purchase or a major move or career change. By contrast, a peer marriage involves equitable division of responsibilities and decision making with regards to finances, household maintenance, as well as maintaining the relationship. Schwartz outlines the major features of a peer marriage and its impact on intimacy, eliminating the burden of one person as a 'provider', sex, and parenting. I found this book to be very helpful in terms of figuring out ways to seek and develop a 'peer' relationship.
https://www.amazon.com/Love-Between-Equals-Marriage-Really/dp/0028740610
DOWNLOAD BOOK HERE FOR FREE
PEER MARRIAGE: HOW LOVE BETWEEN EQUALS REALLY WORKS BY PEPPER SCHWARTZ ‧ RELEASE DATE: JUNE 2, 1994
An illuminating examination of modern egalitarian marriage by a sociologist at the University of Washington in Seattle. Spurred on by insights gleaned during research on her first book (American Couples, with co-author Blumstein, not reviewed) as well as her own egalitarian marriage, Schwartz interviewed over 100 couples in search of the distinguishing characteristics, assets, and liabilities of traditional versus peer marriages. The latter is defined here as ""a collaboration of love and labor in order to produce profound intimacy and mutual respect."" Such marriages are characterized, Schwartz says, by shared parenting and household duties, equal decision-making power, equal financial control, and equal work status. Not content to dismiss the traditional hierarchical arrangement of male provider/female caretaker on the basis of liberal politics alone, Schwartz demonstrates how the inherent imbalance of power in such marriages prohibits deep friendship and true partnership. She compares the traditional relationship between wife and husband to a friendship between an employee and boss, in which intimacy is limited by the power inherent in the work relationship; similarly the traditional husband's power, residing among other things in control of money, limits marital intimacy. While Schwartz's evidence indicates that the rewards of marriage between equals outweigh the risks, the costs are given full consideration here: Some couples complained of sex feeling incestuous because they were so close; career goals often had to take a backseat to accommodate the commitment to sharing family life; and there is little support from family, friends and society for rocking the boat. Although traditional husbands will probably balk at Schwartz's implication that men are more to blame than women in failing to achieve marital equality, any couple contemplating marriage or reevaluating an existing one will find powerful information and encouragement here for a true marriage of minds.
PAIRING TODAY FOR LIFE WITH CARL ROGERS
"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation." Rainer Marie Rilke
The Ultimate Relationship Test: You can say this to your Life Partner: “Any relationship you have with another will never threaten me unless it threatens you.”
What would this mean to you?
Wouldn’t this be a relationship that would express the ultimate trust that would give us the emotional security we need if we are to be genuinely happy in this uncertain world?
Below is by Elaine Cook who identifies with the Polyamory movement. She has wonderfully summarized the American psychologist Carl Rodgers’ book, Becoming Partners, 1972 (YouTube video: Carl Rogers on Marriage: Persons as Partners (1973)
Note: this is the first of five videos with Carl on relationships.
What Rogers is exploring and explaining is what Robert Sternberg means by a Consummate Love (equal parts of Passion, Intimacy, & Commitment) and I mean by a Whole Great Love or Pairing For Life.
“There's a richness that can come from being open, sharing feelings, working the relationship through rather than defensively glossing over problems. ‘Depth comes from commitment to working through the most painful feelings - the ones I want to avoid.’ Living one's values does have an impact. Marriage is a process rather than an institution or structure. A strong marriage can allow more personal exploration. A marriage which is constantly being transformed by the development of each spouse is a great source of security, and allows the individuals to try daring, challenging behavior, take risks, and work to change the world, because they can return to their secure relationship. He sees a core of this continually blossoming security as marriage at its best.
The common elements of satisfying, enriching, growthful, possibly permanent relationships.
I. Dedication? Commitment?
He points out that intention is not enough, and a contract doesn't do it - marriage is a continuing process. His statement of dedication is, ‘We each commit ourselves to working together on the changing process of our present relationship, because that relationship is currently enriching our love and our life and we wish it to grow. A relationship is lasting only if that lasting quality exists in the present moment.’ He comments that the commitment is individual, but the constant, difficult, risky work is of necessity done together.
II. Communication.
How we communicate is important. Sharing feelings as an expression of ourself rather than being about the other person helps. Willingness to be vulnerable and take a risk is important. He summarizes this as, ‘I will risk myself by endeavoring to communicate any persisting feeling, positive or negative, to my partner - to the full depth that I understand it in myself - as a living, present part of me. Then I will risk further by trying to understand, with all the empathy I can bring to bear, his or her response, whether it is accusatory and critical or sharing and self-revealing.’ The less that is hidden in the present relationship, the more change and development are nurtured. One person can start the ball rolling.
III. The dissolution of roles.
To be constrained by roles and expectations prevents the ongoing differentiating process of a developing relationship. People need to make their own choices and follow their own rhythms. This complexity of partnership is far less simple than living by a role, and far more satisfying. ‘We will live by our own choices, the deepest organismic sensings of which we are capable, but we will not be shaped by the wishes, the rules, the roles which others are all too eager to thrust upon us.’
IV. Becoming a separate self.
Paradoxically, when each partner is increasingly becoming his or her own self, the partnership becomes more enriching. Becoming one's own self includes: discovery of oneself; acceptance of self; dropping masks; experiencing values (developing an internal locus of evaluation); growth for both (encouraging your partner to grow as well).
‘Perhaps I can discover and come close to more of what I really am deep inside - feeling sometimes angry or terrified, sometimes loving and caring, occasionally beautiful and strong or wild and awful - without hiding these feelings from myself. Perhaps I can come to prize myself as the richly varied person I am. Perhaps I can openly be more of this person. If so, I can live by my own experienced values, even though I am aware of all of society's codes. Then I can let myself be all this complexity of feelings and meanings and values with my partner - be free enough to give of love and anger and tenderness as they exist in me. Possibly then I can be a real member of a partnership, because I am on the road to being a real person. And I am hopeful that I can encourage my partner to follow his or her own road to a unique personhood, which I would love to share.’
In his final chapter, Rogers talks about experimentation as central to our technological advances, and suggests that we should also support the experimentation that is going on with respect to new ways of relating, new kinds of partnerships, rather than condemning them.
He suggests a law that declares ‘that any partnership pattern entered into by mutually consenting adults is now legal, providing it does no clear injury to other persons.’ This would allow these explorations to occur openly and honestly. He further suggests that one goal of education be ‘to assist the young person to live as a person with other persons.’ We need to learn how to be partners, how to communicate, resolve conflict, what to do with anger and other negative feelings. The education system has neglected these things. Unfortunately, 30 years later [2001], this is still true.” https://tinyurl.com/p4nb5h94
LOVE SENSE: FROM INFANT TO ADULT (SUE JOHNSON AND ED TRONICK). Dr. Sue Johnson, Feb 5, 2016. 11:27
Science tells us clearly that bonding goes from the cradle to the grave. Staying close to a protective loved one is the main survival strategy of our species. But bonding is more than protection, it is a necessary ingredient for our emotional wellbeing. We can now look at pivotal moments in the dance we call bonding – in infancy and romantic love - and pinpoint the core moves in the emotional dance that defines so much of our lives – our happiness.
From “Love Sense--The Revolutionary New Science of Romantic Relationships” by Sue Johnson
· The first and foremost instinct of humans is neither sex nor aggression. It is to seek contact and comforting connection.
· Adult romantic love is an attachment bond, just like the one between mother and child.
· Hot sex doesn’t lead to secure love; rather, secure attachment leads to hot sex—and also to love that lasts. Monogamy is not a myth.
· Emotional dependency is not immature or pathological; it is our greatest strength.
· We need emotional connection to survive. Neuroscience is highlighting what we have perhaps always known in our hearts—loving human connection is more powerful than our basic survival mechanism: fear.
· We also need connection to thrive. We are actually healthier and happier when we are close and connected. Being the “best you can be” is really only possible when you are deeply connected to another.
· We are not created selfish; we are designed to be empathetic. Our innate tendency is to feel with and for others.
· At the core of happy relationships is a deep trust that partners matter to each other and will reliably respond when needed. Secure love is an open channel for reciprocal emotional signaling. Love is a constant process of tuning in, connecting, missing and misreading cues, disconnecting, repairing, and finding deeper connection. It is a dance of meeting and parting and finding each other again, minute by minute and day by day.
IMPROVE ANY RELATIONSHIP WITH THE TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE. Psychology Is, Nov 13, 2020. 11:52
BUILT TO LAST: THE SURPRISING SECRETS OF HAPPY COUPLES WITH PEPPER SCHWARTZ, PH.D. ParentMap, Feb 9, 2023. 1:02:45
We all know that keeping a marriage or long-term partnership thriving takes work. This is especially true for couples who are parents. Luckily, there are simple and concrete steps that we can take to sustain a happy marriage throughout a lifetime. Originally streamed on Feb. 7, join ParentMap for this free ParentEd talk by acclaimed author, researcher and television personality Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., as she details the surprising secrets of long-lasting couples. Schwartz draws on more than 40 years of research in the fields of relationships and sexuality, and is widely considered to be one of the nation’s leading scholars on intimacy.
HERE ARE THREE OF WHAT I CONSIDER THE BEST ASSESSMENTS TO DISCOVER HOW MATURE YOU ARE IN TERMS OF MALE/FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS
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