PARENTARCHY--Free Friends Forum 27 PARENTAL POWER: The Elephant in the Womb is the Government in the Tomb
STATISM STARTS AT HOME: Worldwide the Authoritarian "Right" to Own and Control Children is What Legitimizes the Authoritarian "Right" for Governments to Treat its Populations as Children/Slaves/Pets
Responsibly Free Parents Raising Responsibly Free Children—Ending the Revictimization Syndrome of the Nightmare of History of Child Abuse and Neglect through Peaceful Parenting
PARENTARCHY???
Not to be found except as Domain Name: www.parentarchy.com owned by Jack.
PATRIARCHY. Wikiwand Patriarchy is a social system in which positions of authority are primarily held by men. Patriarchal ideology acts to explain and rationalize patriarchy by attributing gender inequality to inherent natural differences between men and women, divine commandment, or other fixed structures. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/articles/Patriarchy
patriarchy (n.) Etymonline.com 1560s, "ecclesiastical province under a patriarch; church government by patriarchs," from Latinized form of Greek patriarkhia, from patriarkhēs "male chief or head of a family" (see patriarch). Meaning "system of society or government by fathers or elder males of the community" is recorded from 1630s. patriarch (n.) late 12c., patriarke, "one of the Old Testament fathers," progenitors of the Israelites, from Old French patriarche (11c.) and directly from Late Latin patriarcha (Tertullian), from Greek patriarkhēs "chief or head of a family," from patria "family, clan," from pater "father" (see father (n.)) + arkhein "to rule" (see archon).
PARENTARCHY ???????????? NO SUCH WORD! WHY?
Wikiwand Generated This Reply To “Parentarchy”:
“NO MATCHES FOUND”, then it generated
“BEST ANSWER”:
"Parentarchy" is a term that can refer to a system of governance or authority dominated by parents or parental figures, emphasizing their role and influence in decision-making processes, especially regarding children's welfare and education. The term can also invoke discussions around family dynamics, parental rights, and the balance of power between parents and educational or governmental institutions. If you were referring to a specific context or concept related to "parentarchy," please provide more details, and I would be happy to elaborate! https://www.wikiwand.com/en/search?q=parentarchy
The lack of a word for PARENTAL POWER ABUSE—PARENTARCHY--shows the “ELEPHANT IN THE WOMB (Room)” for society’s oblivious disregard of the obvious fact that worldwide parents do not treat their children as they do any other grouping of humans to protect them against the abuse of power. That is, parents do not give children the “Human Rights” they usually give to women, disabled, elderly, etc. Notice, those other than children who need help in taking care of themselves are usually cared for non-coercively and to help them retain their self-determination and control rather than coercing them to obey as most parents do with their children.
As Freedom for Children advocates like John Holt, Richard Farson, Thomas Gordon, and Stefan Molyneux have written about extensively, cultures/societies worldwide from the furthest back in the past to the present have always, for the vast majority, considered “children” as a class of persons that are not to be accorded any self-determination, autonomy, respect for choices—they have been, and mainly still are, treated as slaves or pets.
WE SHOULD ALL ASK OURSELVES: WHY IS POWER (PARENTAL & POLITICAL) SOUGHT FOR? THE ANSWER: TO CONTROL PERSONS.
The only person you should be controlling is yourself while helping others control themselves, especially our younger (and older immature) ones. Voluntaryism’s Credo is Empowerment to Self-Control and never use First Physical Force (Violence) except to save a human life applied to ALL AGES.
The originating cause of humans using Violence is Child Abuse/Neglect as Lloyd deMause’s last book title “The Origin of War in Child Abuse” expresses. Peaceful children raised by peaceful parents are naturally Voluntaryists as their value is self-derived because they learned to trust themselves through a trustful mother and therefore do not need to control another, only themselves; they are Self-Authorized. This should be the task of Peaceful Parenting: to trust themselves and their children with freedom and become responsible for it.
CHILD ABUSE: THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM. HCSLP, Feb 28, 2015. 4:51
The VOLUNTARYIST NON-AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE (NAP) morality applied consistently across all ages of Humanity is the key to Peaceful Parenting that will bring an end to PARENTARCHY, STATISM & HUMAN VIOLENCE by eliminating CHILD ABUSE & NEGLECT that results in REVICTIMISATION (trauma revenge):
PEACEFUL PARENTING IN EIGHT MINUTES. Matthew Drake, Jan 6, 2016 8:00
Stefan Molyneux on the Non-Aggression Principle as the foundation for Peaceful Parenting
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THE ELEPHANT IN THE WOMB: PARENTARCHY
THE UPSTREAM SOLUTION TO PREVENT CHILD ABUSE AND NEGLECT. Positive Childhood Alliance North Carolina, Dec 9, 2016. 2:40
PARENTING FOR A PEACEFUL WORLD Culture Collective, Jan 24, 2012 7:47
"How we treat the child, the child will grow up to treat the world" Pam Leo. This informative Culture Collective Production was written by Robin Grille, Author of "Parenting for a Peaceful World" with a voice-over from 10-year-old, Aja Swafford.
LLOYD DEMAUSE’S 6 PSYCHOGENIC CHILDREARING MODES
This excerpt is from an address that was made to the British Psycho-Analytical Society and the Heidelberg Psychoanalytic Institute, an edited version of which was printed in Volume 15 Issues 1 & 2 1992 of Empathic Parenting.
“In ‘The Evolution of Childhood’ I suggested a list of six evolutionary stages of childrearing modes, along with the dates that I had empirically found were the earliest evidence of these modes in the historical record. They are as follows: (4)
1a. Early Infanticidal Mode (small kinship groups):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
The central task of early infanticidal cultures was to find ways of living with the emotional consequences of mothers who used their children as poison containers. (5) Because the child was experienced as being unified with the mother, control was achieved more by body language than by severe physical discipline _ leading anthropologists to imagine that they were more "permissive" than modern parents. (6) Later childhood was often filled with homosexual sex play, since the children were afraid to separate from their mothers and confront heterosexuality. (7) The infanticidal clinging of the symbiotic mother prevented individuation so effectively that innovation and more complex political organization were inhibited. (8)
1b. Late Infanticidal Mode (early state to antiquity):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
As the child's symbiosis with the infanticidal mother began to be reduced, children were sent out to others at an early age, where men used them as poison containers _ both sexually and as sacrificial victims and as warriors. (9) The sexual molestation of children, encouraged by parents, was universally accepted. Eroticized whipping, torture and homosexual assaults on boys by men became common, as men attempted to rid themselves of the guilt they felt for the increased material surplus generated by the early state. (10) Early states began child sacrifice, at first mainly to child-killing mother-goddesses, from Astarte to Kali. Organized warfare eventually played the same role as child sacrifice in killing the young "to satisfy the gods"_that is, the internalized parents.
2. Abandoning Mode (beginning with the Christian era):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
Early Christians, says the author of the Epistle to Diognetus, were odd: "They marry like everybody else, they have children, but they do not practice the exposure of new-born babes." These Christians began Europe's two-millennia-long struggle against infanticide, replacing it instead with abandonment _ sending children to wetnurse, to monasteries, to fosterage and to other homes as servants. Parents who physically and emotionally abandoned their children may have been resented, but at least those children who survived the experience didn't internalize a completely murderous superego. The long swaddling period also acted as an effective emotional abandonment device.
Early Christian penitentials began to disapprove of sexual assaults on children, although they actually continued to be widespread, even in monasteries.(11) Overt child sacrifice was ended by this new abandoning psychoclass through the use of the group-fantasy of Christ as a poison container _ a son who was sent by his father to be killed for the sins of others _ and religious warfare rather than direct sacrifice became the main approved ritual for killing one's children.
3. Ambivalent Mode (beginning with the 12th century):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
The later middle ages ended abandonment of children to monasteries, began child instruction manuals, initiated legislation to punish the sodomy of boys, expanded schooling and in many other ways began to tolerate the child as an independent being with rights. I have termed this psychoclass "ambivalent" because they were able to tolerate extreme love and hate for the child without the two feelings affecting each other. The resulting individuation and reduction of cultural splitting defenses produced the advances in learning and technology associated with the Renaissance and Reformation.
4. Intrusive Mode (beginning with the late 16th century):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
The intrusive parent began to unswaddle the infant and to bring up the child themselves rather than sending them elsewhere in order to allow closer emotional bonds to form. This increasing freedom and individuation _ separate beds for children even became common _ meant that new means of control had to be invented. Since infants were now allowed to crawl around free rather than being swaddled and hung on a peg behind the stove, they had to be formally "disciplined" to control the feelings injected into them, and so were prayed with, threatened with hell, punished for touching themselves and in general turned into the guilty Puritan child so familiar from early modern childrearing literature. Nevertheless, because intrapsychic problems of the intrusive psychoclass were beginning to be worked out internally rather than projected onto the external world, reality could be manipulated far more effectively, producing the explosive modern takeoff in scientific advance, technological progress and economic activity.
5. Socializing Mode (beginning late 18th century):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
As parental injections continued to diminish, the rearing of the child became less a process of conquering its will than of training it, guiding it into proper paths, teaching it to conform to the parents' goals, socializing it. Hellfire and physical discipline disappeared and were replaced by more gentle methods of guidance. The socializing mode is still the main model of upbringing in the West, emphasizing the use of psychological rather than physical discipline, the mother as the perfect parent to both spouse and child and the father as reliable provider and protector rather than as being bonded mainly to other men. The socializing psychoclass built the modern world, and their values of nationalism and economic class warfare represent the goals of most people today.
6. Helping Mode (beginning mid-20th century):
Dates of evolution in the most advanced countries. [Two charts].
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today.
The helping parent tries to assist the child in reaching its own goals at each stage of life, rather than socializing it into adult goals. Instead of the emphasis being on forming "habits that are useful later in life," the child is empowered to explore its own capacities as it grows. Both parents are involved in relating to and empathizing with the child in order to help it fulfill its expanding and particular needs. The child is made to feel unconditionally loved, and its personal integrity, physical space and sexuality are inviolate to adult intrusion. The first few young adults who have had helping mode childrearing whom I know are more empathic and less driven by material success than earlier generations were at their age. Nationalism, war and wide disparities in economic conditions seem to be tolerated less well by this helping psychoclass.
Each of these six psychoclasses co-exist in the modern world today. Indeed, much of the political conflict of modern nations occurs because of the vastly different value systems of the six psychoclasses. Regardless of the changes in the environment, it is only when changes in childhood occur that societies begin to progress and move in unpredictable new directions that are more adaptive. That more individuated and loving individuals are ultimately more adaptive is understandable -- because they are less under the pressures of infantile needs and are therefore more rational in reaching their goals. But that this childhood evolution--and therefore social evolution--is terribly uneven is also understandable, given the varying conditions under which parents all over the world have to conduct their childrearing tasks...”
https://www.geocities.ws/kidhistory/modesw.htm
TRUST VS MISTRUST: EXPLORING ERIK ERIKSON'S TIMELESS WISDOM PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT THEORY. Philosopheasy, Aug 25, 2023. 8:45
Erik Erikson's psychosocial theory, particularly the stage of Infancy: Trust vs. Mistrust, offers a profound understanding of human development. This episode dives deep into the importance of trust in our lives, how it shapes our relationships, worldview, and personal growth. We explore how these principles are not confined to childhood but resonate throughout our entire lives. From the reassuring hug of a parent to professional dynamics, trust plays an essential role. Join us as we unravel this intricate theory, reflecting on its relevance in today's world. Whether you're a parent, educator, or someone seeking self-awareness, this episode offers valuable insights."
My Comment: THE core Human Condition topic excellently created and presented, thank you! For me, Erik's First Stage of Trust Vs Mistrust signals the core cause of why humans are peaceful or violent. Erikson's developmental model along with John Bowlby's Attachment Theory and Lloyd deMause's work on Child Abuse/Neglect give us the understanding we need to establish Peaceful Parenting for a Peaceful Planet.
TRUST VS. MISTRUST: PSYCHOSOCIAL STAGE 1 THE MOST CRUCIAL STAGE OF CHILDHOOD VeryWellMind, Kendra Cherry, July 12, 2024
According to Erikson, this is the most important period of a child's life, as it shapes their view of the world as well as their overall personality.
https://www.verywellmind.com/trust-versus-mistrust-2795741
MY QUERY TO WIKIWAND:
I use the metaphor Elephant in the "Womb" instead of "Room" to engage the worldwide fact that almost all parents unthinkingly, unconsciously, behave toward their children as if they were slaves or pets. That is, worldwide, almost all parents do not consider their children have "Human Rights" that are in most democratic countries observed for so-called "adults".
WIKIWAND RESPONSE:
Your metaphor "Elephant in the Womb" is intriguing and thought-provoking. It suggests that there are fundamental issues regarding parenting and children's rights that are often overlooked or ignored. By using this metaphor, you're highlighting the idea that many parents may not recognize the autonomy and rights of their children, treating them more as possessions or responsibilities rather than as individuals with their own rights and needs. This perspective opens up a vital conversation about the ways in which cultural norms shape parenting practices around the world. It invites us to examine how power dynamics within families can reflect broader societal attitudes toward authority, freedom, and respect for individual rights. It also encourages a reevaluation of how caregivers can nurture a child's sense of agency and humanity, fostering an environment that recognizes and honors children's rights from an early age. Engaging in discussions around this theme can help raise awareness of the need for a shift in mindset, where children are seen not only as dependents but as individuals deserving of respect and rights. This can ultimately lead to healthier parent-child relationships and contribute to more equitable societies. https://www.wikiwand.com/en/articles/Elephant_in_the_room?ai=chat
“We Want to Spread the Word of Love”
SPANKING AFFECTS KIDS' BRAIN DEVELOPMENT IFLScience, May 12, 2021. 1:00
THE BOMB IN THE BRAIN - SUMMARY – PART 1/2 MONTUSEcom, Sept 3, 2010. 14:57 A brief introduction to changing the future and saving the world by Stefan Molyneux.
THE BOMB IN THE BRAIN | THE TRUE ROOTS OF HUMAN VIOLENCE. Freedomain, Stefan Molyneux 6 Videos
The Bomb in the Brain Part 1 - The True Roots of Human Violence
The Bomb in the Brain Part 2 | Dr. Vincent J. Felitti and Stefan Molyneux
The Bomb in the Brain Part 3 - The Biology of Violence: The Effects of Child Abuse
The Bomb in the Brain Part 4 - The Death of Reason - The Effects of Child Abuse
The Bomb in the Brain Part 5 - A Postscript and Prescription
The Bomb in the Brain: Brain Development and Violence with Stefan Molyneux
https://freedomain.com/the-bomb-in-the-brain-the-true-roots-of-human-violence/
The Legendary Freedomain ‘Bomb in the Brain’ Series—first 4 videos 3:21:45
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8ewqzg
NEW RESEARCH SPARKS AGE-OLD DISCIPLINE DEBATE 7 News Australia, May 29, 2024. 1:40
New Queensland research reveals Australians are more open to smacking their children than people from similar countries.
CORPORAL PUNISHMENT, IS IT OKAY TO SMACK A CHILD? Behind the News, May 21, 2023. 7:51
A team of university researchers is calling for stronger action against corporal punishment in Australia. BTN High explores what the laws are around corporal punishment and find out what young Aussies think about it
SPARE THE ROD?: COLLEGE STUDENTS’ EXPERIENCES WITH AND PERCEPTIONS OF CORPORAL PUNISHMENT. Journal of Child and Family Studies, Christina Policastro, Zachary Rush, Tammy S. Garland & Courtney A. Crittenden, March 28, 2024
Corporal punishment (e.g., spanking) remains a highly debated yet common form of discipline in the United States. A body of research exists investigating the prevalence and effects of corporal punishment; however, less attention has been devoted to factors influencing individual perceptions of corporal punishment. The current study explores college students’ perceptions of corporal punishment with a specific focus on students’ experiences with physical discipline and factors that may influence students’ intentions to use physical discipline with their own children. Relying on a convenience sampling methodology, the current research is based on a sample of 318 students, who participated in a pen-and-paper survey. Findings reveal that most students experienced corporal punishment (86.8%) and roughly three-quarters intend to use physical discipline with their children. Moreover, positive attitudes towards physical forms of punishment were positively associated with intentions to use corporal punishment (OR = 1.494; ***p < 0.001). Despite most participants reporting experiences with corporal punishment and intending to use physical discipline with their children, many felt better disciplinary methods were available. Given that attitudes were correlated with intention to use, educational programs and curricular endeavors to inform individuals of the negative impact of corporal punishment, as well as alternative non-physical discipline strategies are recommended as ways to reduce reliance on physical forms of discipline.
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10826-024-02806-1
ESTIMATING THE ASSOCIATION BETWEEN SPANKING AND EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT USING BETWEEN- AND WITHIN-CHILD ANALYSES. APA PsycNet, Cuartas, Jorge, 2024
Objective: Most research establishing the association between spanking and child development has used cross-sectional data and correlational methods in high-income countries, raising questions about the internal (i.e., causality) and external (e.g., generalizability) validity of this work. The main objective of this study is to use more internally valid methods to assess the links between spanking and developmental outcomes in four low- and- middle-income countries. Method: This study employs data from four longitudinal studies conducted in Bhutan, Cambodia, Ethiopia, and Rwanda, comprising 3,048 young children (Mage = 53.11 months, SD = 9.16 in the first round of data collection), which used comparable information on parent reports of spanking and direct assessments of children’s development measured by the International Development and Early Learning Assessment. Results: Findings from random- and fixed-effects models that use both between- and within-child variation show that spanking relates to an array of negative cognitive, social–emotional, and motor outcomes. Yet, the results also demonstrate heterogeneity in estimates between sites, which warrants further investigation. Conclusions: These results, along with prior evidence, indicate that spanking might harm the early developmental skills that serve as children’s foundation for lifelong well-being. Therefore, considering issues of human rights, existing evidence, and following a precautionary principle, policymakers, and practitioners should invest in strategies aimed at preventing and reducing spanking and other forms of violence against children across the world.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2024-42878-001
SPANKING AND EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING IN US CHILDREN: A LONGITUDINAL ANALYSIS ON A MATCHED SAMPLE. PubMed, Jeehye Kang, Christina M Rodriguez, 2023
Conclusions: This study provides evidence that spanking is associated with lower executive functioning in children, although the associations varied by different EF domains.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37742555/
SPANKING AND CORPORAL PUNISHMENT PARENTING PRACTICES AND CHILD DEVELOPMENT: A SYSTEMATIC REVIEW. APA PsycNet, Avezum, M. D. M. d. M., Altafim, E. R. P., & Linhares, M. B. M. (2023).
Abstract
Violence against children is a significant problem, particularly during early childhood development. Spanking and other forms of corporal punishment in child-rearing have been used by families worldwide to correct children’s unwanted behaviors. Despite previous studies focusing on the negative consequences of these parental practices, open questions remain. The present study aimed to systematically review the empirical studies published in scientific literature that examined the associations between parenting practices of spanking and corporal punishment of mothers and their children’s behaviors and development in early childhood. Search was performed in PubMed, APA PsycNet, Web of Science, SciELO, and LILACS databases using the combination of the following keywords: ((spank OR physical punishment OR physical abuse OR physical maltreatment OR corporal punishment) AND (parenting)) AND (child* development OR child* behavior). The inclusion and exclusion criteria were applied and 34 articles were selected for review. The inclusion criteria were the following: studies that evaluated associations between maternal spanking or corporal punishment practices and behaviors or development of 0-to-6-year-old children; quantitative studies; studies published in English, Spanish, or Portuguese language. The results showed that in 94% of the studies, there were significant associations between maternal spanking and corporal punishment with deteriorated child behavior and development, concurrently or later. In addition, maternal physical practices also acted as mediators or moderator variables in models that explained behavioral and developmental problems in early childhood.
https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2024-21925-013
SPANKING PREDICTS LOWER COGNITIVE SKILLS IN CHILDREN, STUDY FINDS. Psypost by Eric W. Dolan December 28, 2023
Spanking is associated with lower levels of executive functioning, such as inhibitory control and cognitive flexibility, in children, according to a new study that analyzed longitudinal data from more than 12,000 children. The findings, published in Child Abuse & Neglect, suggests that even infrequent spanking can have adverse effects on a child’s cognitive development.
https://www.psypost.org/spanking-predicts-lower-cognitive-skills-in-children-study-finds/
CHILDHOOD SPANKING IS LINKED TO ADVERSE PHYSICAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, AND BEHAVIORAL OUTCOMES IN ADOLESCENCE Psypost by Beth Ellword, April 19, 2021
Spanking or slapping children as a form of punishment appears to pave the way for harmful outcomes that are discernable in adolescence. A new study, published in the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, revealed that teens who had been spanked or slapped as children had increased odds of presenting with mental health issues, physical health problems, and defiant behavior.
While the American Academy of Pediatrics has condemned all uses of physical punishment against children, many parents still consider spanking an appropriate form of discipline. Spanking tends to fall under the radar in that it is often characterized as a “milder” form of physical punishment that is less harmful than others. Yet, the literature consistently shows that spanking leads to harmful outcomes among children.
THE EFFECT OF SPANKING ON THE BRAIN. Harvard Graduate School of Education, Jill Anderson, April 13, 2021
Research has long underscored the negative effects of spanking on children’s social-emotional development, self-regulation, and cognitive development, but new research, published this month, shows that spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and increases perception of threats.
“The findings are one of the last pieces of evidence to make sense of the research of the last 50 years on spanking,” says researcher Jorge Cuartas, a Ph.D. candidate at the Harvard Graduate School of Education, who coauthored the study with Katie McLaughlin, professor at the Department of Psychology at Harvard University. “We know that spanking is not effective and can be harmful for children’s development and increases the chance of mental health issues. With these new findings, we also know it can have potential impact on brain development, changing biology, and leading to lasting consequences.”
The study, “Corporal Punishment and Elevated Neural Response to Threat in Children,” published in Child Development, examined spanked children’s brain functioning in response to perceived environmental threats compared to children who were not spanked. Their findings showed that spanked children exhibited greater brain response, suggesting that spanking can alter children’s brain function in similar ways to severe forms of maltreatment.
https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/usable-knowledge/21/04/effect-spanking-brain
RESEARCH ON SPANKING. Robbyn Peters Bennett, Nov 27, 2012. 3:31
Murray Straus, PhD and Elizabeth Gershoff, PhD who are nationally recognized researchers on Corporal Punishment talk about the what Science tells us about the long-term effects of spanking children.
WHAT NEUROSCIENCE AND RESEARCH SAYS ABOUT SPANKING Robbyn Peters Bennett of www.stopspanking.org TheProgressiveParent, Oct 26, 2013. 33:43
NOTE: First of 45 videos against spanking
STOP SPANKING.COM
There is increasing awareness in the general public of the negative risks of spanking. Research shows a 93% agreement that spanking is harmful. Spanking is consistently linked to increased behavioral problems, increased aggression and defiance, and lower moral internalization. It is also linked to an increased risk of mental illness in adolescence, drug and alcohol abuse, and a greater likelihood of domestic violence into adulthood. Spanking little children is particularly problematic, due to the profound effect that negative experiences can have on the rapid development of the brain in the first few years of life.
https://stopspanking.org/research/
THE GREAT SPANK DEBATE WITH CHILD THERAPIST MISTER STU Mister Stu, LCSW: Children's Mental Health Expert, May 19, 2023. 30:18
Thanks for your effort, Stu, good to have the various "legal" aspects reviewed. Your discussion on "consequences" and "timeouts" tells me you have not read Thomas Gordon's writings on parenting? I hope you will and then you will be very against spanking or any kind of punishment like timeout and also against rewards. Go here to start on Tom HOW WE ARE CRIPPLING OUR CHILDREN WITH DISCIPLINE Thomas Gordon https://www.gordontraining.com/parenting/crippling-children-discipline/ Get free, stay free.
NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF CHILDHOOD SPANKING MAY BE OVERSTATED, STUDY CLAIMS. New York Post, By Adriana Diaz, Oct. 14, 2024
A recent study looked into the long-standing debate surrounding the impact of spanking on child development. The study, published in the Marriage & Family Review, revealed that the punishment may not be as detrimental to a child’s future.
The researchers found that spanking accounted for less than 1% of variations in child outcomes, showing that its negative effects might be exaggerated.
The topic of whether or not spanking is an effective or harmful form of punishment has sparked considerable discussion for generations. Previous research has established a strong correlation between physical punishment and negative outcomes for children, but much of this work did not account for pre-existing behavioral issues in children.
This made it challenging to determine whether spanking directly causes problems or if it is more commonly employed with children who already exhibit behavioral difficulties.
Robert E. Larzelere, an endowed professor for parenting research at Oklahoma State University and author of “Authoritative Parenting,” has dedicated 40 years to studying this topic.
He claims that spanking does not lead to negative consequences unless it is administered excessively or from a place of malice rather than genuine concern for the child.
“Although it is clear that spanking is correlated with adverse outcomes such as delinquency, does it cause those outcomes (like smoking) or not (like hospitalization, which is also associated with worse outcomes compared to those never hospitalized)?” Larzelere questioned.
“Answer so far: Spanking does not cause harmful outcomes unless it is used too often or too severely or out of meanness rather than out of concern for the child’s welfare.”
RESOLVING THE CONTRADICTORY CONCLUSIONS FROM THREE REVIEWS OF CONTROLLED LONGITUDINAL STUDIES OF PHYSICAL PUNISHMENT: A META-ANALYSIS. Marriage & Family Review, Robert E. Larzelere, Marjorie Lindner Gunnoe, Joshua Pritsker & Christopher J. Ferguson, 2024
Abstract
Three literature reviews of controlled longitudinal studies of child outcomes of customary physical punishment have arrived at contradictory conclusions. We attempt to explain the contradiction using meta-analyses based on two types of change-scores and two sensitivity tests. We hypothesized that studies employing standard ANCOVA-type longitudinal analyses would suggest harmful-looking (but trivial) effects, and studies employing simple difference scores would suggest beneficial-looking (but trivial) effects of customary spanking on four child outcomes. We hypothesized that age (18 mos − 11 yrs) would moderate these associations. WE HYPOTHESIZED THAT SPANKING TO ENFORCE TIMEOUT IN RANDOMIZED STUDIES OF CLINICALLY DEFIANT YOUNG CHILDREN WOULD PREDICT LARGE IMPROVEMENTS IN CHILDREN’S COOPERATION WITH TIMEOUT AND PARENTAL COMMANDS. All hypotheses were supported. Regardless of statistical method, customary spanking explained less than 1% of the remaining variance in each child outcome (after controlling for baseline adjustment). The oft-reported harmful-looking outcomes of customary physical punishment in ANCOVA-type analyses are likely due to residual confounding. Various methodological problems and needed innovations in parental discipline research are discussed. Given the seeming near-zero effect of customary spanking, and the large beneficial-looking effects of spanking to enforce time-out in clinic-based intervention programs, blanket anti-spanking injunctions are discouraged.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01494929.2024.2392672#abstract
Dr Robert E. Larzelere Blog. 2007
https://familyintegrity.blogspot.com/2007/04/dr-robert-larzelere.html
THE DATA DOES NOT SAY SPANKING IS BAD (WHY NO ONE WILL TELL YOU) Based Camp with Simone & Malcolm Collins, June 4, 2024. 37:44
In this eye-opening discussion, Malcolm and Simone Collins delve into the controversial topic of corporal punishment and the latest research challenging the mainstream narrative. They examine a groundbreaking 2023 study that found previous research on spanking relied on unadjusted correlations, ignoring crucial factors such as child behavior and genetics. The couple argues that the evidence supporting the benefits of mild, immediate physical correction has been largely overlooked due to ideological biases and the categorization of spanking as a human rights abuse.
LEADING ADVOCATE FOR BIG FAMILIES SMACKED SON, 2, DURING AN INTERVIEW — NOW HE SAYS TROLLS WANT TO TAKE HIS KIDS AWAY. New York Post, Chris Nesi, May 26, 2024
The leader of the “pronatalist” movement supported by Elon Musk that encourages families to have lots of children to stave off population decline is under fire for slapping his toddler in the face in the middle of a news interview.
“Multiple people called [child-welfare services] over this. There’s now an active movement to take our kids away,” Malcolm Collins, 37, a dad of three who co-founded the foundation with his pregnant wife, Simone, 36, told The Post on Sunday. Guardian journalist Jenny Kleeman, who interviewed the couple in and around their home in Valley Forge, Penn., for the weekend feature, has described being left “speechless” by what she witnessed and devoted the final quarter of her lengthy article to recounting the incident. MALCOLM EXPLAINED THAT THE FAMILY USES CORPORAL PUNISHMENT — WHICH IS LEGAL IN PENNSYLVANIA WHERE THE COUPLE LIVES — ONLY AS AN IN-THE-MOMENT CORRECTIVE ACTION DURING POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS SITUATIONS. [Caps, my emphasis] Such situations apparently included when his 2-year-old son Torsten “knocked the [restaurant] table with his foot” and nearly caused it to topple over during the interview. Despite the uproar that followed the Guardian article, Malcolm said he felt the feature “did a very good job” of illustrating “when we think corporal punishment is warranted in our family and when we don’t,” noting his primary goal as a father is to “raise them to be psychologically resilient in an age of psychological fragility.”
AMERICA’S PREMIER PRONATALISTS ON HAVING ‘TONS OF KIDS’ TO SAVE THE WORLD: ‘THERE ARE GOING TO BE COUNTRIES OF OLD PEOPLE STARVING TO DEATH’. The Guardian, Jenny Kleeman, May 25, 2024
IS SPANKING YOUR KIDS GOOD OR BAD FOR THEM? IF THEY BEHAVE POORLY, YES, MAYBE. Substack, Emil O. W. Kirkegaard, May 29, 2024
There are many parenting methods one can use, and when children misbehave, some kind of punishment is in order. If the violation is severe enough, or the child stubborn enough, then maybe physical punishment is what is needed, with proper administration of course. Hanania and Collins thus appears to be on the right side of the evidence here, even if the evidence is not compelling. Certainly, there is no good evidence that occasional spanking causes severe behavioral problems in general, and little reason for it be to banned based on the weak evidence we have.
DOES SPANKING VIOLATE THE NON-AGGRESSION PRINCIPLE? - WALTER BLOCK DEBATES STEFAN MOLYNEUX. Stefan Molyneux, Dec 9, 2013. 1:01:05
https://web.archive.org/web/20150524052416/
https://podbay.fm/p/freedomain-radio-volume-6-shows-2120-2575/e/1386615600
https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2j6hdu
WALTER BLOCK AND STEPHAN MOLYNEUX DEBATE ON SPANKING (USING VIOLENCE AGAINST) CHILDREN Lew Rockwell, Walter E. Block, Dec 9, 2013
SHOULD LIBERTARIANS SPANK THEIR CHILDREN? Bumbling Bee, Darien Sumner, Nov 8, 2016
https://www.bumblingbees.net/articles/should-libertarians-spank-their-children
STARVING CHILD, PART III: SPANKING CHILDREN. Lew Rockwell, Walter E. Block, Nov 5, 2016
https://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/starving-child-part-iii-spanking-children/
THE GREAT SPANKING DEBATE: WALTER BLOCK VS TIM MOEN. Tim Moen, July 18, 2017. 54:14
Does spanking violate libertarian principles? Professor Walter Block and Tim Moen Leader of the Libertarian Party of Canada debate.
IS SPANKING CHILDREN COMPATIBLE WITH LIBERTARIANISM? YES. Lew Rockwell, Walter E. Block. Dec 27, 2018
https://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/is-spanking-children-compatible-with-libertarianism-yes/
CHILDREN’S RIGHTS AND LIBERTARIANISM. Lew Rockwell, Walter E. Block. Sept 23, 2020
https://www.lewrockwell.com/lrc-blog/childrens-rights-and-libertarianism/
DISCIPLINE: ADVICE AND EVIDENCE. Econlib, Bryan Caplan, Aug 20, 2010
Your child can make your life awful – unless you stand up for yourself. The smart adjustment to make is just the wisdom of the ages: Clarity, Consistency, and Consequences. Adopt firm rules, clearly explain the penalties for breaking the rules, and impose promised penalties to the letter. If your child punches or kicks you, you’ve got to tell your child that this is against the rules, and that the punishment for transgression is, say, one day without television. Every time your child breaks the rule, harden your heart and impose the punishment. Clear, consistent punishment isn’t foolproof, and some kids are tougher to crack than others, but it beats being a punching bag. If you’re skeptical of the wisdom of the ages, there is solid experimental evidence in its favor. When parents ask psychologists to help control their children’s disobedience, tantrums, and aggression, psychologists often respond by training the parents. They call it “behavioral parent training,” but it’s Clarity, Consistency, and Consequences by another name. Researchers have run dozens of experiments to see whether behavioral parent training actually works. It does.
https://www.econlib.org/archives/2010/08/discipline_advi.html
TEACHING EFFECTIVE ALTERNATIVES TO AUTHORITY AND POWER
FROM POWER AND CONTROL ParentEffectivenessTraining, June 14, 2017. 1:09
DR. THOMAS GORDON ON MISBEHAVIOR, DISCIPLINE AND PARENTING. ParentEffectivenessTraining, June 14, 2017. 1:17
“PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING” by Thomas Gordon, CHAPTER 10. PARENTAL POWER: NECESSARY AND JUSTIFIED?
“One of the most universally entrenched beliefs about child-rearing is that it is
necessary and desirable for parents to use their authority to control, direct, and train children. Few parents, judging from the thousands in our classes, ever question this idea. Most parents are quick to justify their use of authority. They say that children need it and want it or that parents are wiser. “Father knows best” is a firmly rooted belief. The stubborn persistence of the idea that parents must and should use authority in dealing with children has, in my opinion, prevented for centuries any significant change or improvement in the way children are raised by parents and treated by adults. Partly this idea persists because parents almost universally do not understand what authority actually is or what it does to children. All parents talk easily about authority, but few can define it or even identify the source of their authority.”
HOW WE ARE CRIPPLING OUR CHILDREN WITH DISCIPLINE Thomas Gordon
https://www.gordontraining.com/parenting/crippling-children-discipline/
P E T PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING BOOK SUMMARY BY THOMAS GORDON. Bookey, Jan 12, 2022. 5:00
PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING NEW ZEALAND https://tinyurl.com/bdbevsct
PARENT MANAGEMENT TRAINING. Wikiwand
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/articles/Parent_management_training
INBRIEF: THE SCIENCE OF NEGLECT. Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University, 5:57
THE ORIGINS OF PEACE AND VIOLENCE DEPRIVATION OF PHYSICAL AFFECTION AS A MAIN CAUSE OF DEPRESSION, AGGRESSION AND DRUG ABUSE James W. Prescott, Ph.D.
http://www.violence.de/index.html
ESCAPE FROM CHILDHOOD AD. Growing Without Schooling, March 7, 2015. 0:39
WHAT IS CHILDISM? Sarah Ockwell-Smith, Aug 16, 2023. 5:12
There’s a new buzzword on the block--childism. Why society is Childist and how breaking the cycle of discrimination towards children can change the world.
CHILDISM: HOW DISCRIMINATION AGAINST CHILDREN PLAYS OUT IN LAW. The Conversation, Rebecca Adami, April 21, 2023
Some acts are only considered criminal if they are committed by someone aged under 18. This doesn’t just include things such as drinking alcohol. In some US states, for example, it is illegal for children to run away from home or even to repeatedly disobey parental authority.
This behaviour is called incorrigibility. If a child is decided to be incorrigible by a court, the sanctions they can receive include detention in a juvenile facility.
In many countries where there is legal recourse for adults against violence by other adults, we find a troublesome lack of such protection for children. In over 130 countries in the world, children lack full protection against corporal punishment. In England, children can lawfully be smacked by parents if the smack can be considered “reasonable punishment”.
This kind of unequal treatment is an example of childism: prejudice and discrimination against children.
https://theconversation.com/childism-how-discrimination-against-children-plays-out-in-law-199454
CHILDISM INSTITUTE
The Childism Institute is an international and interdisciplinary project that investigates childism across theory, research, and practice. It tests and critiques the notion of childism both in itself and in relation to other -isms like feminism, antiracism, and posthumanism. Childism: An Introduction, download
TODDLER GIVES HER MOTHER ADVICE AFTER HEARING PARENTS FIGHT. Daily Mail, June 26, 2018. 3:01
PEACEFUL PARENTING & DEEPER PERSPECTIVES WITH STEFAN MOLYNEUX. OLIT Archive, Dec 21, 2024. 52:43
Peaceful Parenting & Deeper Perspectives with Stefan Molyneux Stefan Molyneux discusses his upcoming book "Peaceful Parenting" which applies the logic and reason of science, psychology, evidence and rigorous morality to the healthy and ethical raising of our greatest treasures — our own children.
PEACEFUL PARENTING DOES NOT PRODUCE NAIVE CHILDREN (STEFAN MOLYNEUX AND LAURETTE LYNN). TheProgressiveParent, Nov 5, 2012. 2:59
PEACEFUL PARENTING by Stefan Molyneux
https://peacefulparenting.com
Full Version
https://peacefulparenting.com/ebooks/Peaceful_Parenting.pdf
Condensed Version
https://peacefulparenting.com/ebooks/Peaceful_Parenting_Condensed.pdf
Audiobook
https://peacefulparenting.com/audio-book/
Peaceful Parenting Substack. Oct 18, 2023
https://freedomain.substack.com/s/peaceful-parenting
FROM “PEACEFUL PARENTING” BY STEFAN MOLYNEUX
So, what is peaceful parenting? It simply extends the nonaggression principle to children, making it immoral to initiate the use of force against them. Peaceful parenting means it is immoral to use force against children, enter contracts on their behalf, or borrow against their future earnings. The extension of NAP to children means that it is immoral to beat, hit, confine, spank, or physically restrain them. I know many arguments against this principle are erupting in your mind, and I sympathize with that. I will address these concerns throughout this book. But consider this: Wouldn’t it be simpler to have one moral rule for everyone, rather than separate rules for adults and children? Wouldn’t it be less confusing for children told not to hit to not be hit themselves? Shouldn't authority figures follow their own rules and not hit others? A significant proportion of you (about 10-20%) agree that hitting children is wrong, and I appreciate that. But peaceful parenting also recognizes that verbal abuse against children violates NAP . Verbal abuse includes calling children stupid, lazy, selfish, or telling them the world will end soon or that they are evil for being born. If you kidnap and brainwash a woman, it's considered psychological abuse and forcible confinement. We seek legal damages for emotional pain and punish cult leaders for indoctrinating. Children can't leave abusive environments and are deeply affected by parents' words. We have laws against libel and defamation because words cause harm. We ban physical violence and damaging verbal abuse against adults – why not against children too? Science, technology, and morality advance by extending simple, accepted rules universally. Moral laws protect those who can't protect themselves – and children are always the most vulnerable. Yet, children are excluded from protections granted to powerful adults. Free, powerful adults are protected; dependent, trapped children are not. This is unacceptable. It’s time to change.
CHILDISM: CONFRONTING PREJUDICE AGAINST CHILDREN by Elisabeth Young-Bruehl 2013
In this groundbreaking volume on the human rights of children, acclaimed analyst, political theorist, and biographer Elisabeth Young-Bruehl argues that prejudice exists against children as a group and that it is comparable to racism, sexism, and homophobia. This prejudice—“childism”—legitimates and rationalizes a broad continuum of acts that are not “in the best interests of children,” including the often violent extreme of child abuse and neglect. According to Young-Bruehl, reform is possible only if we acknowledge this prejudice in its basic forms and address the motives and cultural forces that drive it, rather than dwell on the various categories of abuse and punishment.
From the book’s introduction:
“People as individuals and in societies mistreat children in order to fulfill certain needs through them, to project internal conflicts and self-hatreds outward, or to assert themselves when they feel their authority has been questioned. But regardless of their individual motivations, they all rely upon a societal prejudice against children to justify themselves and legitimate their behavior.
We are accustomed to thinking in terms of prejudice against women, against people of color, against other groups that are “targets of prejudice,” as we call them, in Western society, and we accept the idea that struggles against sexism and racism have been going on since the eighteenth century and will have to keep going on if these prejudices are ever to be overcome. But prejudice against children? Who even acknowledges its existence?
What is needed now is a term that will have political resonance, something that can operate as sexism did to raise our political consciousness. To help those who have been pursuing inquiries into anti-child behavior formulate, unify, and report the results of their studies, childism can act as an umbrella concept, a heuristic, and a synthesizer, and it can function as a guide for political action. It can help researchers connect a lot of dots.
https://www.amazon.com/Childism-Confronting-Prejudice-Against-Children/dp/0300192401
BATTLE HYMN OF THE TIGER MOTHER BY AMY CHUA, 2011 Amazon
At once provocative and laugh-out-loud funny, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother ignited a global parenting debate with its story of one mother’s journey in strict parenting. Amy Chua argues that Western parenting tries to respect and nurture children’s individuality, while Chinese parents typically believe that arming children with skills, strong work habits, and inner confidence prepares them best for the future. Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother chronicles Chua’s iron-willed decision to raise her daughters, Sophia and Lulu, the Chinese way – and the remarkable, sometimes heartbreaking results her choice inspires. Achingly honest and profoundly challenging, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother is one of the most talked-about books of our times.
The Chinese Mother
A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:
attend a sleepover
have a playdate
be in a school play
complain about not being in a school play
watch TV or play computer games
choose their own extracurricular activities
get any grade less than an A
not be the #1 student in every subject except gym and drama
play any instrument other than the piano or violin
https://www.amazon.com/Battle-Hymn-Tiger-Mother-Chua-ebook/dp/B004CLYKLI
AMY CHUA/TIGER MOM, "DIDN'T EXPECT THIS LEVEL OF INTENSITY!" ABC News, 1/26/2011. 5:50
Juju Chang interviews Amy Chua on the value and controversy surrounding her book "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."
TIGER MUMS: STRICT PARENTS DEMANDING GREATNESS FROM THEIR KIDS | 60 MINUTES AUSTRALIA. 13:47
Meet the 'Tiger Mums', pushy parents not satisfied with anything but perfect marks from their kids.
Synopsis | Top of the Class (2011) It's no secret. At our most prestigious schools and universities, the names at the top of the honour rolls are now all Asian. And the reason is just as obvious; they study far more than their western classmates. But what's been revealed, in a best-selling book by a Chinese mum, is how that achievement is often driven by the extreme expectations of demanding mothers. They call them 'Tiger Mums', pushy parents not satisfied with anything but perfect marks. It's tough love alright, but when you see the results, you just might want to unleash some "tiger power" on your own kids.
UNTIGERING: PEACEFUL PARENTING FOR THE DECONSTRUCTING TIGER PARENT Iris Chen, March 13, 2021
Peaceful parenting is hard enough for the average parent. Imagine trying to do it when you have the instincts of a tiger mother.
In Untigering, Iris Chen shares her journey of leaving behind authoritarian tiger parenting to embrace a respectful, relational way of raising children. As a Chinese American mom, she draws from her experiences of living in both North America and Asia and offers insights and practices to:
· Heal from your childhood wounds
· Change your beliefs about yourself and your children
· Parent through connection instead of control
· Redefine your understanding of success
· Navigate and challenge cultural norms
Iris calls for a radical shift from parenting that is rooted in power to one that is grounded in partnership, but she does so with humor, humility, and empathy. This book is her invitation to you to begin your own journey of transformation as a parent.
https://www.amazon.com/Untigering-Peaceful-Parenting-Deconstructing-Parent/dp/1736825402
UNTIGERING - REBUILDING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MYSELF. Mindful Parenting Podcast, Aug 12, 2021. 4:13
UNTIGERING WITH IRIS CHEN. Liberated Learners, Sept 30, 2022. 55:56
Iris Chen is the founder of the Untigering movement, author of the book Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent, and an advocate for peaceful parenting, unschooling, and anti-oppression. In this talk, Iris shared about the process of untigering, which encourages parents to move away from parenting that is rooted in power to parenting that is grounded in partnership.
Thanks for your Self-Directed Learning advocacy. Well done to have Iris on. I hope we can get more eyes/ayes here, especially Asian and Chinese parents where authoritarian, "Tiger Mom" parenting is still the abnormal norm.
CHILD OBEDIENCE A KEY ISSUE FOR POLITICAL LEADERS. AFP News Agency, May 13, 2012. 2:14
As China prepares to take its position as one the world's leading powers, the political elite is considering changes to the education system that will see a new breed of leaders, thinkers and creative individuals emerge
AN INTRODUCTION TO CHINESE PARENTING DYNAMICS. Asianometry, March 9, 2021. 9:16
Each culture has their own tropes and stereotypes surrounding parenting styles. Some positive, others negative and a few derogatory. Probably the most famous trope is that of the Asian Tiger Mom, an overbearing type of strict parenting that seeks to push the child to great achievements in academics or extracurriculars. Like violin or something of the like. In this video, I want to do an introduction to Chinese parenting styles, traits and dynamics.
Well-said overall. As a lifelong youth rights activist myself, I agree. And this is what we in the youth rights movement call "adulto-patriarchy", the intersection of adultism and patriarchy.
Hi, Jack. I have some questions for your forum. Who should have authority over the person who takes primary responsibility for a child? My rule of thumb is that authority and responsibility should always go together. But this seems to imply that there's a body of authority that should be over parents, that would take no direct responsibility for the children, but would set the rules for how parents needed to parent. And what would be the punishment to parents who don't obey this authority? Would their children be taken from them? Given to strangers who are paid by you as a taxpayer? Would you send them to parent reform school before they could get them back?
As a related aside, my reader Guy tells me that the term 'rule of thumb' derived from the law that said a man couldn't beat his wife with any lash more narrow than his thumb. That answers the question, I think, of who has been given authority over the person taking primary responsibility for a child. And if the child is an oldest son, he has authority over the mother in primogeniture. Women were allowed to wear veils to show they were 'owned' by a father, brother or husband. Women without a veil could be raped at will, and wearing a veil without a male 'owner' made a woman subject to being stoned to death.
I grew up in the era of spanking and corporal punishment, which was inflicted by fathers in the home and nuns in the school. The trope was "Wait until your father gets home." So 'parentarchy' is really an oxymoron. -archy comes from archons or rulers, who could only be male. The pater familia had complete power over wives, children, servants and slaves.
In looking up which gender commits more child abuse, I first found the counterintuitive stat that it was women. And then I found this site that looks at that statistic: http://www.thelizlibrary.org/liz/statistics.html. It states: "90% of all children who are in the care of one caregiver are in the actual physical care of a woman (parent, grandparent, teacher, babysitter, day care provider, nurse, etc.), and that 10% are in the care of a man. (This is a conservative estimate.)" It then adjusts the statistics based on that and eliminating instances in the care of a couple, in which the woman would be charged with 'failure to protect.' The result is that a child in the care of a man is astronomically more likely to be the victim of abuse that in the care of a woman, when looking at active violence rather than minor instances of neglect.
If your objective is to reduce the amount of physical pain inflicted on children, the best thing you can do is enable mothers to securely care for their children without the need to depend on a man or, even more importantly, be forced to share custody without being present. Children belong to and with their mothers. Forcibly taking them away, through adoption, custody or mandatory employment inflicts the lifelong trauma of abandonment on an infant. If the child's well-being is your concern, protect the bond with the mother.